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Thirteen unexpected ways you can use sex toys around the home

Because I am a sex toy collector, and all-round Slut I have sex toys all over my house.

Amazingly, over time my sex toys have been useful in solving any number of household emergencies.

Here is my list of unexpected uses I have found for sex toys around the home.

Don’t forget to tell me in the COMMENTS if you have used sex toys for things around the home, or have other great ideas on how sex toys can be given vanilla household purposes.

So here is my list of totally unexpected uses for sex toys that I bet you had never thought of:

💖 Suction Cup Dildo - This can double up as an easy to erect toilet roll holder on that tiled wall of the bathroom.

💖 Cock ring - Perfect as an emergency napkin ring for granny when she comes round for Sunday dinner.

💖 Cock sleeve - If you can't find something to keep your beer cold they make fantastic beer coolers

💖 Fist shaped dildo - A great impromptu stick for pointing things out. Perfect for the zoom presentation at home when you need to point at a flip chart.

💖 A double-headed dildo - These make an amazing ergonomic armrest for your keyboard to stop you getting wrist pains while you're working from home.

💖 Nipple clamps - If you can't find that little bit of string to tie around your finger to remember something ... use a nipple clamp instead. Just pop it on your nipple and it's sure to remind you that you need to do something.

💖 Anal beads - Great as an emergency oil stick in your car or machinery. Make sure you have plenty of lubrication to keep your equipment working properly.

💖 Butt plugs (1) - Great little jewels to insert into any holes in walls around the house that need disguising when friends come round to visit.

💖 Butt plugs (2) - Why not use them as a bottle stop into your wine to keep it fresh. I promise it will never taste the same after.

💖 Giant Dildos - These can make amazing bookends to make sure all your books stand to attention on the shelf.

💖 Nipple clamps and chain - If you keep losing your glasses? These make a great chain to hang glasses around your neck so you never lose them again

💖 Penis extenders - These can save your wooden floors. Just put them on the bottom of the legs of the chairs. Then you will be able to move your furniture around without leaving any marks on the floor.

💖 Penis pump - Just what you need when you have to unclog your kitchen sink? Just get pumping and before you know it you’ll have got your plumbing passing water again.

I'd love to know of other inventive ways you have used your sex toys around the home and has anyone ever noticed?