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A Guide to Using Handcuffs: From Fluffy Handcuffs and Beyond!

The use of restraint allows the Dominant partner to have control over the submissive partner. This can start off with fluffy handcuffs (usually the vanilla’s first purchase leading to a long road down the BDSM track), and move all the way through to full body restriction such as vac bags. They would require a whole blog unto themselves so today we are looking at the “fluffy handcuff” end of the spectrum!





Before any use of handcuffs, make sure that you have safeword(s) agreed upon. Remember consent and communication is sexy!


So, sit back, relax and let’s get kinky!


What types of handcuffs are there?


As discussed above there are a plethora of handcuffs, and bits and pieces you can use to restrain your partner(s) arms/ hands. For the purposes of this blog I have decided to rate these on a scale of 0 - 10 depending on how easy these would be for a brat (ahem, me) to wriggle out of.


💖 Pink fluffy handcuffs - Brat resistance, 0/10


These are often the vanilla couples’ very first pair of handcuffs, and first foray into the dark depths of BDSM. They usually come from a very popular high-street lingerie company and are as useful as a pair of invisible handcuffs at offering any restraint to anyone trying, or not even really trying to wriggle out of them.


Usually made of flimsy metal and covered in fluff, whilst the fluffy bit is amusing for a while it gets a bit grotty with repeated use. If they even stand up to repeated use (mine did not). These are generally “single locking” hence the easy breakability.


Worth a go if you’re new to BDSM and just want some light-hearted restraint, but I can honestly say that I would recommend rope or tying with fabric over these cuffs any day of the week.


💖 Plastic handcuffs - Brat resistance, 1/10


Plastic handcuffs are often used by the police or military if they require a lightweight solution that doesn’t involve carrying around heavy metal cuffs. These are often still single locking, for use in BDSM purposes and can be a lot more uncomfortable than metal cuffs depending on how well they are applied.


Plastic handcuffs are disposable and therefore not very cost- effective when using them in play unless you are engaging in something particularly messy like sploshing where the use of metal handcuffs may not be preferred!


These are also incredibly easy to get out of, in particular, if you generally have a lighter on you! It’s not recommended to get out of them this way through in particular if you want to avoid injury but sometimes needs must ;)


💖 Police handcuffs- Brat resistance, 9/10


Police handcuffs are the heavy duty, double locking cuffs you will see in most films/TV shows. These are difficult to get out of in particular depending on the position in which the person is handcuffed (more on that later).


These are reasonably comfortable, however they do not offer the same soft squishiness of fluffy handcuffs or leather strap type cuffs.


💖 Medieval handcuffs or shackles - Brat resistance, 10/10


These antique style cuffs are very difficult to get out of. Yes, I have tried and failed.

These are heavy duty shackle type cuffs, often seen in sets with collars, and leg cuffs. They are made out of steel and provide weight and challenge to the wearer.


If you picture a slave style set of restraints these are often the ones you will think of. These are often “double locked” and therefore more difficult to get out of. Using one of the three methods of securing the cuffs:


Lever lock - Movement of a lever on the cuff causes the detent to move into a position that locks the bolt. A key is not required.


Push pin lock - A small peg on the key is inserted endwise into a slot that locks the cuffs.


Slot lock - These also have a peg but in this case, it is inserted into a slot and moved sideways to lock.


💖 Cable tie handcuffs - Brat resistance, 9/10


Cable tie handcuffs are what they say on the tin. Handcuffs made out of cable ties. These offer the same sensation as plastic handcuffs, however, for some reason, these are a lot more tricky to get out of!


💖 Leather strap-style handcuffs - Brat resistance, 1/10


These are commonly used in the BDSM community as they offer some protection for the wrists and do not create as much pressure on nerve points as other handcuffs can (read on for safety tips!). They can be left on for longer periods of time and are either locked on with a padlock or just buckled shut like your belt!


These can also be used in medical play, or psychological play as these are similar to restraints used in hospitals.

They are however very easy to get out of, if like me you have small hands and wrists and i have been known to un-do myself when feeling particularly bratty - make sure you get the right size for your submissive!


How do I stay safe whilst using handcuffs? Here are my top handcuff safety tips!


Don’t leave a handcuffed person alone - Louder for people in the back. Any form of BDSM play whether you deem it within your “safe” zone or not should not involve leaving a person alone or unattended. You must practice Risk Aware Consensual Kink. Should you wish to give the impression you have left a person alone, you can set up cameras or have regular check-ins with the person to ensure they are happy and not in any mortal danger.


Nerve impingement - Part of why number 1 is so important. Even though handcuffs are usually the first to be reached out for by the inexperienced they CAN actually cause considerable nerve damage if used incorrectly. There is a nerve that runs down the inside of your wrist that can cause pain and nerve damage if not treated with respect. Make sure the handcuffs are not too tight and that they are not being pulled down on for a long period of time, pressing into that nerve (something to think of if handcuffing your submissive to a St Andrew’s Cross!). Make sure you both have an agreed safeword and a way to untie/ release your submissive A.S.A.P.


Don’t lose your freaking keys - This one is important for my Sir to remember ;) as he is forever losing his phone/ wallet/ keys/ testicles (okay not his testicles but that does surprise me!). If you have handcuffs that require a key to release a person DO NOT LOSE THEM. Even better, attach them to your playbag, and/or attach one of those alarms that you can make beep from your phone to help you find them. Yes, we do have one of those alarms :’)


Hand positioning - Making sure that the hand positioning of the person in handcuffs is correct is extremely important as explained in point #2. You can handcuff in ANY position you wish but it is important to be aware that for prolonged handcuffing, palms facing together is the generally accepted preferred method to avoid any nerve impingement. Do be aware though if someone is handcuffed behind their back they will likely need assistance to move around, and get into trouble if they do fall as they cannot put their hands out to stop themselves. This fear can be played upon by using different stress positions, or with the application of spreader bars similar to the Strappado position in rope bondage.


Bonus: Slut top tips on escaping handcuffs…


Dominants this is NOT for you. Submissives keep reading, if you’re a brat I’m sure you’re already aware of the following ;)


  1. Wriggle and slide your hands out of the handcuffs (particularly helpful if you’ve got slim hands/ wrists and the cuffs are JUST that little bit too big).

  2. Before play, hide a hairpin somewhere on your person (preferably not in the clothes that will get removed). Locks can be picked if given enough time. P.S. It may be beneficial to practice this one…

  3. If you are flexible, you can manoeuvre your body into a position whereby you can utilise your hands again, but again this does take some practice.

  4. If you have any bratty tips on escaping handcuffs, let me know… ;)


P.S. I hope you enjoyed this writing, do leave a comment if you did!


Serena xoxo






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