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Things people say on Fetlife that boils my piss

Fetlife is basically a kinky version of Facebook. With over 7 million members you will be able to find like-minded people and communities that you can speak with and join.

You can join, follow me or send me a friend request on Fetlife here

However, like all social media people present a slightly different (better) self on Fetlife.

However, some things go too far, making me cry with laughter or break me into an uncontrollable rage.

Don't forget to LOVE this post and tell me about you the things that boil your piss on Fetlife or other socials in the comments

So, here is my slutty guide to some of the ridiculous things that boil my piss on Fetlife.

💖 Hard limits including Bestiality, necrophilia and minors - Of course they are hard fucking limits. That’s because they are illegal. I think it goes without saying that I don’t murder old people, commit armed bank robbery or steal 101 Dalmatians to make a coat. I resist putting them on my profile because I figure that people can work out that I don’t do those things all by themselves.

💖 I want to just be friends - Why say in your first message you only want to be friends. Just to lose self-control in the second message to tell me how you want to ass fuck me with a wire brush, while I sing the national anthem or some other weird kinky stuff.

💖 Being a protector, mentor and guide - I am puzzled how an old guy can protect, mentor or guide new, pretty, young girls on a different continent. Don’t fall for it girls, they are just a variation of “I want to be friends”. Why not just make a few friends here, read, chat and learn stuff. You don't need someone with an alternate motive being some great sage or fake knight in rusty armour.

💖 Overly ridiculous dominant names - I giggle when I see names like @Godlikefucksnake, @Mycockwillruinyourintestines or @Masterofyorkshireandtheuniverse. Gentleman, dominance is not measured by the grandeur of your Fetname, albeit names like this will shrink your winky.

💖 Proclaiming 1000’s years of experience - I have a thing for older guys and I’d love a night with a vampire. However, please don’t let your mouth cash cheques your experience can not match. I will know quickly when chatting if you're new or an old hand. Do you know what? I don’t care as long as you're a good human being.

💖 Online relationships - Can’t help thinking you are cheating or don’t have a car. Why not just say “I love sexting, swapping pics and wanking at home” and I’d rather invest my personal time in other people. Oh P.S. You’ll ghost as soon as I cum a couple of times.

💖 No limits - Really fucking dangerous. Before you know it you'll be tied to a tree with barbed wire so a guy with a homemade dildo made from a toothbrush and rusty razor blades can see if you're true to your NO LIMIT claim. Everyone has limits. It's healthy and safe to have clear boundaries when you first meet people. Please don’t be stupid and have no limits. Everyone has and should have limits.

So now it’s your turn. Tell me what do you see on Fetlife or other social media that boils your piss.